I’ve just had a Toxic conversation with my Ex-Girlfriend..
Although we’ve been separated for a quite a while now, she can go from 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. I’m not proud to say, my actions over the years were a major contributing factor to the way she responds to me. The endless streams of texts and calls weren’t good for my well being and mental health – so I’ve learned to master the iPhone Block Caller feature. It was effective until, she sent me an email today.. I called back to peacefully discuss an issue, but.. In a matter of 5 minutes, I was screamed at, talked over continuously and reminded of all – I did or didn’t do over the course of our relationship.
At the end of the 5 minutes, I was angry and wanted to lash out, my mind was in reaction mode, I couldn’t work or listen to my book. I keep replaying the conversation and wondering why I would try to reason with an unreasonable person. I forgave myself of all my actions, but she didn’t and probably won’t ever. I’ll let her deal with that in her way, but I can’t let someone else’s inability to let go of the past – control my present.
After, these types of experiences – I have a reflection period. I reflect on the lessons learned and ways to prevent them from happening again – with her or anyone else. I thought about how many of us are STILL in TOXIC DRAMA filled relationships or situations. These TOXIC relationships prevent us from being PRODUCTIVE adults. It is IMPOSSIBLE to flourish in CHAOS.
I needed an hour to get back into my zone after a 5 minute toxic conversation. I can imagine how this affects those of us who are fully engaged in TOXIC relationships or situations. After awhile, chaos becomes normal and any type of growth or creativity is impossible to establish.
I believe we should value and protect our Mental and Emotional state. If you are serious about improving your quality of life, I encourage you to immediately remove yourself from ALL TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. You may not see the affects of it but your body does. Please see the article below..
There are numerous emotional and physical disorders that have been linked to stress including depression, anxiety, heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, immune system disturbances that increase susceptibility to infections, a host of viral linked disorders ranging from the common cold and herpes to AIDS and certain cancers, as well as autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis. In addition stress can have direct effects on the skin (rashes, hives, atopic dermatitis, the gastrointestinal system (GERD, peptic ulcer, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis) and can contribute to insomnia and degenerative neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease. In fact, it’s hard to think of any disease in which stress cannot play an aggravating role or any part of the body that is not affected (see stress effects on the body stress diagram) or. This list will undoubtedly grow as the extensive ramifications of stress are increasingly being appreciated.
50 common signs and symptoms of stress
1. Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain
2. Gritting, grinding teeth
3. Stuttering or stammering
4. Tremors, trembling of lips, hands
5. Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms
6. Light headedness, faintness, dizziness
7. Ringing, buzzing or “popping sounds
8. Frequent blushing, sweating
9. Cold or sweaty hands, feet
10. Dry mouth, problems swallowing
11. Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores
12. Rashes, itching, hives, “goose bumps”
13. Unexplained or frequent “allergy” attacks
14. Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea
15. Excess belching, flatulence
16. Constipation, diarrhea, loss of control
17. Difficulty breathing, frequent sighing
18. Sudden attacks of life threatening panic
19. Chest pain, palpitations, rapid pulse
20. Frequent urination
21. Diminished sexual desire or performance
22. Excess anxiety, worry, guilt, nervousness
23. Increased anger, frustration, hostility
24. Depression, frequent or wild mood swings
25. Increased or decreased appetite
26. Insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams
27. Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts
28. Trouble learning new information
29. Forgetfulness, disorganization, confusion
30. Difficulty in making decisions
31. Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed
32. Frequent crying spells or suicidal thoughts
33. Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness
34. Little interest in appearance, punctuality
35. Nervous habits, fidgeting, feet tapping
36. Increased frustration, irritability, edginess
37. Overreaction to petty annoyances
38. Increased number of minor accidents
39. Obsessive or compulsive behavior
40. Reduced work efficiency or productivity
41. Lies or excuses to cover up poor work
42. Rapid or mumbled speech
43. Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness
44. Problems in communication, sharing
45. Social withdrawal and isolation
46. Constant tiredness, weakness, fatigue
47. Frequent use of over-the-counter drugs
48. Weight gain or loss without diet
49. Increased smoking, alcohol or drug use
50. Excessive gambling or impulse buying
